First love is rightfully one of the most important and memorable adventures in human life. It leaves an indelible imprint in the head, whether it is mutual or unrequited feelings. This is the first emotional attachment to a person outside the family circle. This is your own choice, in which the opinion of the parents was not taken into account at all. Formally, these are even the first steps towards an independent life.
In addition to sexual desire and hormonal boom, a teenager is captured by powerful emotions. It is this love that is considered incredibly pure and pure feeling, and, in part, this turns out to be true. Laura Carpenter, a well-known sociologist, explains this by the lack of experience of unsuccessful relationships. Yes, the first attempts may not be the best, but for lack of material for comparison, the teenager considers his partner the best.
At the first stage, called the candy-bouquet period, a teenager often considers his partner the limit of perfection, idealizes him. Naturally, most people notice bad qualities, but most often they decide to justify them or simply ignore them. “Bad qualities” often mean even violent actions on the part of a partner, moral bullying. The first partner has a very great influence on how a person’s personal relationships will continue to be built.
Tolstoy once said: «All happy families are happy in the same way, but all unhappy families are unhappy in different ways.» A survey of high school students in the United States showed that the majority of teenagers experience dissatisfaction with their relationships, to one degree or another.
For grown children, relationships are not always signs of falling in love or love. They classify them not only as feelings, but also as a sign of growing up, competitiveness, privilege.
After parting, some understand that this is for the best, going in search of new mutual sympathy, while others, on the contrary, are angry at the whole world and are disappointed in themselves.
Those who have not received enough attention and love from their parents are at risk of such a not very pleasant outcome. Such teenagers are more likely to get into abusive relationships, earn Stockholm syndrome and refute all attempts by loved ones to help them.
There is an opinion that girls tend to experience breakups more painfully than boys, but often everything turns out to be exactly the opposite. Just due to gender attitudes, they manifest their suffering in different ways. For the female regiment, the manifestation of emotions is socially approved, while for the male regiment there is no such luxury.
We largely owe these attitudes to traditional relations within society, but time has managed to make its own amendments, and civilization is constantly developing. A great contribution to the love experiences of a young man or girl is now being invested in social networks that attract young people due to the opportunity to remain anonymous. This increases the intensity of interactions. There you can be anonymous and express your positive and negative feelings without fear of being recognized or ridiculed.
However, some negative aspects are also associated with the advent of social networks, for example, insincerity of feelings and cyberbullying — Internet harassment in relation to other persons. The Internet creates an excellent illusion of impunity, and the consequences can even be too dramatic, even to the point of death.
In this regard, the case of Rebecca Sedwick’s suicide in Florida is widely known. She was stalked by two girls, one of whom claimed to be Rebecca’s boyfriend.
How long does first love last? Many believe that such relationships will surely fall apart, sooner or later adding to the treasury of “experience”. In practice, not all novels fall apart. Sometimes first love develops into a more mature relationship.
Parents worry in advance about the first love of their child, and they cannot be blamed for this, because in many ways the foundation of a happy relationship is laid long before adolescence. Of course, upbringing will not be able to completely isolate the child from all misfortunes and disappointments, but it can still cope with an impressive part, so it should be given increased attention. After all, it is this that in a few years can give an advantage in experiencing a break with your first love.