Mom sculpts Easter cakes with the baby in the sandbox, enthusiastically plays tea for dolls, receiving a time machine ticket with the birth of the child. Dad enthusiastically builds a track for cars, along the way discussing models of vehicles or traffic rules with his son.
These are wonderful parental dreams, inspired by films, magazines, their own ideas about what an ideal childhood should be like, relationships with mom and dad.
Kolya asks to play with him in the race. Okay, mom is ready to build a track out of building blocks and masking tape — with loops, jumps, obstacles, almost like in a Hot Wheels ad. But it turns out that according to the rules of the machine, you need to roll it on the floor, with your hands, bending over or crawling on your knees. It is natural to try to beat Kolya according to all the laws of acting, but in no case overtake.
Mom gets bored after 5 minutes, she doesn’t like to crawl on the floor, and the game is kind of pointless, as it seems.
The son refuses to change the rules. He is unhappy if the opponent pushes the car with his foot, and does not drive it along the floor, as expected. She is offended if her mother’s car (despite all efforts) pulled ahead, and now she has to listen to the roar of the losing racer.
And where is the promised joy of playing with a child?!
Why is it boring for a parent to play with a child?
Mom or dad, responding to the request of the child, play for the sake of fulfilling the duty of a good parent, and not for their own entertainment. And the essence of the game is that all participants in the process receive joy and pleasure.
In the game, the child tries on “adult” social roles: pretend cooking in doll dishes, driving a car from a cardboard box, taking care of a baby doll. The kid is fascinated by novelty and learning skills that will be useful in the future.
Adults are overcome by despondency from playing mother-daughters or train passengers, since they already know how to do all this. Re-learning what you have long mastered in real life is incredibly boring.
What to do?
During joint games, parent-child attachment is strengthened. What to do if a parent wants to please the child, but does not like to play?
The purpose of the game is to have fun. If you forcefully agree to play, if the process does not bring positive emotions, pleasant memories and high-quality joint leisure will not work. The child will feel that you are bored, and he will not be able to have fun from the heart.
- Find an activity that will bring pleasure to all participants in the process. Plan time together so that the parent enjoys the activity and doesn’t annoy the kids, and vice versa.
- For example, you like cycling, reading, drawing, board games. When the child comes up with the next “mom, play” — offer him a choice of options that are acceptable to you.
- There are games, at the mere mention of which parents want to howl at the moon. Refuse them with a clear conscience — you can offer an alternative.
«Play with me!» — what to answer the child?
Children turn to their parents with such a request not only for the sake of the game as such. They need attention, inclusion, the presence of adults in their lives. It is not necessary to play — offer other ways to share leisure time.
- Clean up — become a «dusty team».
- Cook dinner, put on a cooking show.
- Go to the store or on «adult» affairs.
- Turn on the music and dance together.
- Give out hugs.
It is important for the child to see that you are interested and joyful with him. Play and have fun so that everyone has fun, not just one.