What is Silver Spoon Syndrome? Behind the beautiful name lies a rather complex phenomenon — childish spoilage. Is it possible to fight it and how to do it without harming the child?
The concept of the syndrome and its manifestations
The name of the syndrome comes from the famous metaphor of being born with a silver spoon in your mouth. This statement describes people (not only children, but also adults) who have not needed anything since childhood.
Most clearly in children, the syndrome manifests itself in the following features:
- passive behavior;
- unwillingness to set clear goals and achieve them;
- striving for the material and the depreciation of the spiritual;
- the desire to only enjoy life, and not to study or strive for global things;
- inability to experience disappointments, failures, failures;
- inability to wait and make efforts.
Causes of the syndrome
Despite the popular belief that the parents are the only ones to blame for the appearance of the silver spoon syndrome, in reality everything is much more complicated.
Indeed, if moms and dads have enough finances, they strive to make their children’s lives better. However, it is unlikely that their plans include raising a son or daughter of a person with reduced empathy and a constant desire for momentary pleasures.
Often the cause of the mentioned syndrome lies in the peculiarities of the child’s temperament and temperament. Agree, not all children who grew up in rich families become selfish and prudent. In addition, the syndrome of the silver spoon most often manifests itself in adolescence, when the child experiences hormonal changes and the «rebellious spirit» boils.
If the syndrome has already manifested itself, the main thing is not the cause, but work on its eradication.
What to do
To get rid of the syndrome of the silver spoon will help a few important steps that must be taken slowly, gradually and with all responsibility.
Step #1: Say «no» to farming
Many parents who spend a lot of time at work and try to provide their child with the best benefits of civilization prefer to give money to their child or give him a gift for an impressive amount. In this way, some moms and dads seem to apologize and make up for their absence.
Do not «buy» the child and do not let gifts replace parents. Try to find common interests with your child, spend time together every free minute. Keep communication short, but regular and intimate.
Step #2: Set Boundaries
A house without prohibitions is doomed to destruction. It is necessary to set boundaries that will help motivate the child and establish discipline.
The main rule is to talk to the child respectfully, in a businesslike way. You should not refuse directly, you need to let the child think about this or that situation, make an effort: “Do you want a new laptop? Convince me that you really need it» or «I’ll buy you a laptop if you fulfill a number of conditions.»
The silver spoon syndrome occurs where there are no clear boundaries. The child does not have to strain to get what he wants, so boredom, satiety and disappointment set in.
Step #3: Give the kids more free time
Japanese courses, horseback riding, art school, Latin American dancing, public speaking classes, swimming or modeling school — parents often invest huge amounts of money in a stream of endless sections and additional classes, if only their child would become the most promising, fashionable, interesting and smart . Yes, clubs and courses are a great investment. But a child is not an investment project at all. What if he’s not interested at all?
Freedom will help children find interesting activities for themselves. Of course, at first you can notice “doing nothing”, pastime at the computer or behind the smartphone screen. However, gradually free time will form new hobbies in the child. Perhaps he will realize that he wants to collect insects, play hockey, or write his own stories. Support him in this!
If the syndrome of the silver spoon has been manifested in a child for a long time, then the first attempts to get rid of it will be perceived painfully. Probably, the child will defiantly be offended, rebel, cry, behave aggressively. In case the situation gets out of control, be sure to contact a child psychologist.