Recall that the themes of whims, aggression and fears can be carefully worked out thanks to the right fairy tales and games — this is the subject of our new book, which is called: «Clever Girl®️. Game Fairytale Therapy®. 50 therapeutic fairy tales and games from whims, fears and aggression.»
So, what to do when your child is afraid of something?
In a moment of fear and fright, it is important to be close to the child and not criticize him for what he is experiencing. You should not say “so big, but scared”, “you are a man”, “what are you, lala?”, “Yes, this is nonsense”, or somehow devalue the emotions of the baby.
After all, with his rejection, an adult only multiplies the negative feelings of the child and at the same time leaves him face to face with his fear. From the reaction of his parents, he understands that it is bad to be afraid. Alone with his fear, the baby will feel uncomfortable and lonely, and this is unlikely to help the little person cope with it.
If we join the child’s emotion, accept his right to feel it, then we give the child the opportunity to live out his fear in a safe space. And so the same fear of the dark can disappear simply because we are next to the baby and this gives him confidence that everything will be fine.
TO HELP YOUR CHILD MANAGE FEAR, take the following steps:
Step 1 Recognize the emotion, suggest the reason for its occurrence.“Mirror” the child’s emotion, voice what, in your opinion, he feels. For example: “You seem to be scared” or “It looks like you are afraid.” If you understand that you have correctly identified the emotion, ask the baby what scared him. If the baby finds it difficult to answer, guess the reason for its occurrence yourself: “It must have become dark, and you were scared (scared).”
Step 2 Accept the emotion. Show that you accept the baby’s fear and are ready to provide support. For example: “Come to me, I will hug you! When I’m scared, I want to be hugged.» Stay close to the baby. Stroke him, hug him if he hides in you. Let your child feel how you protect him.
Step 3 Help your baby regulate emotions. Let the child know that there is no danger here. Turn on the light or walk with a flashlight through all the «terrible» places so that the baby sees that there is no one there. If the baby wants, let him shine a flashlight. Encourage him: “Let’s shine here. Look, your fear is leaving here, and courage is coming to you.
If the baby is still very excited, try to breathe together: “Let’s exhale fear from ourselves (exhale) and inhale courage (inhale). Breathe out fear again, and breathe in courage.” Breathe a little.
You will find more recommendations in the kit for kids 0+ «Clever ®️. Manage emotions and in the book for children 2+» Clever ®️. IgroSkazkoTherapy®. 50 therapeutic fairy tales and games from whims, fears and aggression.