Sometimes parents are faced with something they were not prepared for at all. Unfortunately, it happens that yesterday your baby was a good-natured and cheerful child, behaved obediently and generally brought only joy, and today he began to be rude or rude to you.
Parents often get confused. How to be? What to do? Do not pay attention and educate as if nothing had happened or put strict methods of education into action? Parents sometimes disagree, try everything at once, most often they fail, which aggravates the situation.
The main thing now is patience and calmness, which mom and dad need to stock up on.
crisis period. Of course, children can start being rude at any age, but most often this happens at a time when the child is experiencing some kind of age crisis. At the age of three, children defend the right to independence, but this does not always happen within the framework of what is permitted. The apogee falls on adolescence, when the child begins to rebel against family foundations and parental care.
Lack of attention. If your child does not obey, swears, throws tantrums, or, on the contrary, does not speak to you indicatively, then this may be a signal that the child really needs you now. The fact that now he is in dire need of your care, but due to age he shows it this way. Think about it, perhaps you devote little time to your child and he is trying so hard to draw your attention to himself?
«Like a blueprint». Very often, children begin to be rude to their parents because they themselves show such a negative example to children. If a child constantly sees that parents are rude to each other, behave unworthily, then over time he begins to communicate with his parents in exactly the same manner.
Reaction in response. If adults show disrespect to children, they can get exactly the same rudeness in return. Everything is extremely simple here. If you allow yourself to call a child names, humiliate him, constantly shout, then the little person has no choice but to be rude to you in response. It’s just a defensive reaction.
Mistakes in education. The other side of the coin is permissiveness. If you are in a hurry to fulfill any whim of your child, this will not lead to good. When the baby is used to the fact that he will get what he wants — all he has to do is throw a tantrum, he will be rude and call names if his whim is not fulfilled. In adolescence, this pattern of behavior can be exacerbated at times.
What to do?
1. Calmly explain to the child that you will not do what he asks if it is said in a rude tone. If the child is imperiously demanding something from you, explain that he will be able to get this “toy” only if he changes his tone and behavior.
2. Never be rude in return. Say that you will speak only when he calms down and stops yelling and being rude to you.
3. Often children throw tantrums, be rude to loved ones just to manipulate them. A simple example: a granddaughter tells her grandfather that he is bad, but if he buys her a chocolate bar, he will be good. All this is accompanied by screams, tantrums and refusal to be with the grandfather in the same room. Grandfather runs as fast as he can to the store for a chocolate bar, just to win the favor of the child again. It’s definitely not worth doing that. Justify your refusal to comply with the request of the child. Try to explain why this is not possible now. Be as understanding as possible about his feelings.
4. Set family rules. If you forbid a child to do something, for example, to speak rudely on the playground or with adults, and you yourself set the opposite example, then it’s time to start restraining yourself from being rude to adults, and especially children.
5. As we wrote above, often the lack of attention results in the aggressive behavior of children. Look at yourself from the outside — do you pay much attention to children?
An example from life: every day a mother walks with her daughter on the playground. The girl screams, pushes other children, throws sand. Mom screams at her. At the same time, for all 40 minutes of the walk, the mother never spoke to the child and did not look up at her from the phone, although nominally it can be said that the mother was walking with her daughter. But is it?
6. If a teenager has behavioral problems, then another important point is communication on an equal footing. At a transitional age, children can be annoyed by the fact that parents do not see them as almost adults and continue to babble, as if over babies. The whole teenage rebellion is aimed at showing independence and independence from parents. Accept this and show your child that you are ready to listen to him, ready to understand and advise as an equal.
If your child is rude to you, do not become discouraged or angry. Remember — this is just a life stage that you can survive and everything will work out. Only you will have to work not only on the behavior of the child, but also on your own.