The problem of child apathy is well known. How many times have we heard from TV screens, from neighbors and relatives that their children do not want anything? This happens almost regularly.
And the point is not even that the younger generation does not want to go to school or does their homework with a creak. They literally do not want anything: neither to go to additional classes, nor to be creative, nor to go out with friends, nor even to warm up their own food! Their whole world is smartphones, tablets, YouTube videos and social networks like Tik Tok.
And what should parents do? How to stir up a child? There is an exit. And not even one!
Causes of child apathy
First of all, dads and moms should find out what is the reason for children’s apathy. There are many prerequisites for it:
- neurophysiological age-related changes (in particular, the neurotransmitter responsible for the reward and pleasure system is produced in adolescents in a small amount, which leads to eternal discontent);
- personal experiences (due to a quarrel with friends, the death of a pet, fear of a control, internal complexes, etc.);
- raising a child in greenhouse conditions (boredom occurs due to the lack of the need to strain, think, act, make decisions independently);
- an imposed lifestyle (the need to attend uninteresting circles, boring sections, to do things that do not bring joy);
- emotional burnout and reassessment of values due to age-related changes.
What to do with a childish desire to do nothing
In no case should you take away the phone from the child, lock him in an empty room alone with books and demand to urgently go to the tutor three times a week, and then to tennis. Remember that the more prohibitions, the stronger the desire to bury yourself in a pillow with your favorite phone. More up-to-date and effective recommendations will help.
one. Let your child do what he likes. Of course, we are not talking about what is harmful to health. If a child loves editing clips for modern teenage social networks, then he should be encouraged with a compliment regarding this hobby. Feeling the support, the son or daughter will gradually begin to replenish his strength for school, cleaning, and other things.
2. Recognize the child’s right to experience. Children’s apathy can be caused by internal conflicts. These are worries about studying, and quarrels with friends, and first love … You should not ask the child what happened if he does not make contact and wants to hang out on the Internet all day. He has the right to experience deep and negative feelings (fear, despondency, anxiety, irritation, anger) as he sees fit. And this means that such a state will not last forever: it just needs to be experienced, like chickenpox.
3. Communicate Regularly. Not to climb into the soul of a child does not mean to ignore. Communication with the child is essential! Even short conversations in the evenings over a cup of tea for 10-15 minutes can give him peace and energy. Show that you are always ready to discuss with him and his problems, his feelings, and give advice.
four. Don’t label your child. You don’t know exactly what provoked children’s boredom and laziness, so you shouldn’t say that your child is “selfish”, “lazy”, “careless”, “sluggish”, “out of this world”. Instead of criticizing, learn to speak clearly about your feelings: “I was very upset that the dishes were not washed, despite our agreement. Let’s think about what we can do about it.»
5. Encourage your child to be independent. If a child is overtaken by emotional burnout, then the task of parents is to express confidence in his choice and actions. Does the child want to spend the whole day at the computer, and not go to the forest for mushrooms? Great, son or daughter, the choice is yours! Parental attacks in the style of “we want the best and only wish you well” can lead to negativism and undermining trust in the family.
6. Expand children’s opportunities. The childish “I don’t want anything” can actually mean “I don’t know what I really want.” Help your child to expand his possibilities! Learn different sports, ask what he would like to do. What if it turns out that all her life her daughter dreamed of doing gymnastics, not athletics, or playing the harp, not the piano? It is very important that the child always has a chance to choose. Of course, you also need to be motivated properly. Which is better: “You’re a straight C student, you need to study German extra!” or “Knowing a foreign language is a great opportunity to travel and get a great job in the future”?
It is important to remember that the child must gradually take responsibility for his own life. It is worth giving up pressure on a son or daughter, swearing and taking the position of an optimistic observer who observes the measure of control.
If the situation gets out of control, be sure to contact a child psychologist.