What to do if the child, in the heat of the moment, does not react to anything at all, and the situation gets out of control? This article has a few easy ways.
A very simple way to deal with child aggression is to give the child the opportunity to “cry over” it. We allow the baby to cry, to grieve from the impossibility of doing or receiving something. And then, along with tears, tension decreases, aggressive impulses pass.
If, nevertheless, there was a heat of emotions, we suggest that you perform the following steps:
- Take care of your emotional state in order to calmly respond to the child’s emotion. Try to do the following: Realize that the child is not your enemy and his behavior is not to spite you. In fact, it is very difficult for him now, and he is waiting for your help. Try to understand why you are angry: because you are tired, or because you are late, or because the day at work did not work out. Feel sorry for yourself. Breathe. Take a deep breath and mentally count to five. Then count to five again while holding your breath. Then exhale slowly to a count of five, and hold your breath to a count of five again. Tell yourself a «soothing» phrase, such as «It’s not the end of the world» or «Calm, just calm»
- Name the emotion of the child and the reason for its occurrence. For example: “I see that you are angry (furious, annoyed / annoyed). You are probably angry because you want to continue playing, but I won’t let you and call you to sleep.”
- Accept emotion. Show your baby that you understand his emotion. For example: “I understand, sometimes it’s hard for me to finish doing what I like too. I would be angry too (angry) if I were you. I’m sorry that time flew by so quickly and you didn’t play enough.” Stay close to the baby.
- Help your baby regulate emotions and set boundaries if necessary. After you have named the reason for the anger, offer your child ways to express his anger and relieve tension: “I see that you have a lot of anger, and it just asks to come out. Can we help him get out? Let’s get angry. How do you want to be angry? What would you like to do now — tear the paper or scream into the pillow?
You will find even more ways in the kits from Umnitsa for soft and gentle work with such situations when your baby is naughty or shows fear or aggression, «Umnitsa®. GameFairytale Therapy®. 50 therapeutic fairy tales and games from whims, fears and aggression» and a kit for development of emotional intelligence Umnitsa®. Managing Emotions
Games, fairy tales, books, cards and recommendations for parents will definitely help you!