Why do children express aggression and what to do about it

Why does a child easily begin to freak out for any reason, does not accept prohibitions, throws things or can hit? And what to do with it?

We continue to share materials from our new book «Clever Girl®️. Game Fairy Tale Therapy®. 50 therapeutic fairy tales and games from whims, fears and aggression» In addition to fairy tales and games, this book contains a lot of information about raising children, tips and recommendations for parents. Psychologists and game therapists have found answers to many difficult questions, including those about the aggression of children.

Aggression occurs in a child when some of his needs are not satisfied. At this moment, the baby is experiencing anger, sadness, resentment, irritation, which he expresses in an aggressive way. And this happens for one of the following reasons:

Features of temperament.Children are different, someone flares up like a match and quickly leaves, someone endures for a long time, but then they can’t be stopped

Age restrictions. Unsuccessful attempts to do something that does not work can end in a manifestation of aggression.

Action restriction “Do not interfere”, “do not interfere”, “no” — it is difficult for children to control themselves in situations where something interferes with the achievement of the goal.

Examples of Aggressive Behavior. If, surrounded by a baby, someone easily raises his voice, swears, orders, calls names, then the child decides that this is exactly what should be done in order to achieve what he wants.

Inability to deal with emotions. Children have insufficiently formed parts of the brain that are responsible for self-regulation, so it is normal for them to experience anger.

There are three ways to help your child:

1. You help the child get or do what he wants (if possible, of course). For example, if the baby is angry that he cannot lace up his shoes, you offer him help
2. You help the child understand the impossibility of getting or doing something, you sympathize with him. For example, if the baby wants the cat to play his games with him, you say: “Yes, it’s a pity that animals are not people and cannot play. Did it piss you off? I understand you. Unfortunately, we will have to come up with another game, without a cat. Perhaps the baby will cry and calm down.
3. If the tension does not decrease, you help the child to «live» the emotion — to express it in an acceptable way. You can get angry and release aggressive tension through physical activity, you can strongly squeeze and unclench your fists, you can scream into the pillow, stomp, growl.

In order not to slide into moralizing and punishment, we have written SPECIAL FAIRY TALES for you. They will give the opportunity to calmly and confidentially talk with the baby about difficult emotional states. Using the examples of heroes, you can show why aggressive behavior is unacceptable. And therapeutic games will help the baby relieve stress and tension, relax and calm down. They will be useful not only for children, but also for adults.